Sims Are Worth A Thousand Words

Dormie Trouble!

(Jade mumbles as she walks down the stairs)

Miss Sim Goddess:  Ye gods!  What happened to you?

Jade: Fucking Shadow.  He told me to come over there to the chair and he’d hook my hair up.  You know, this ‘do is so…old.

Miss Sim Goddess: You’re right.

Jade: Anyway, Shadow told me that he’ll give me a free makeover.  And this is what he turned me into!  A fucking clown!  And now he wants to make up for it.

Miss Sim Goddess: So that’s where you’re going?

Jade: Unfortunately.  Can you kill him if he fucks this up again?

Miss Sim Goddess: I will not kill the possible heir of the Tickian home!

Jade: What difference does it make? You have 12 others!  I mean, Nicolai would be a better choice.

Miss Sim Goddess: Nicolai won’t be out of college before his parents croak.

Jade: That’s what happens when Sims give birth to kids way into their 30’s and 40’s.

(Shadow motions her over)

Should I really trust him with that scissors again?

Miss Sim Goddess: The odds of you turning into a clown again are slim.

Jade: I certainly hope so.

Miss Sim Goddess: …But he might cut your hair all off.

Jade: What?!

Miss Sim Goddess: Nothing.

Shadow: Hey, I’m sorry about that, Jade.

Jade: Whatever, don’t make that happen again.

(Shadow fixes her up until…)

Jade: Holy shit, he didn’t fuck up this time!  Thanks Shadow!

Shadow: No problem.  Refer your friends to me!

Miss Sim Goddess: Jade, meet Crow.  Now eat him.

Jade: Shut up, you.  I think you should still kill him.

Miss Sim Goddess: How’s about I kill you? You won’t have to worry about dealing with him.  What will it be? Fire, starvation, or electricution?

Jade: Geez, you’re a pain.

What do you wish for?

Miss Sim Goddess: So what do you wish for?

Timber: What?

Miss Sim Goddess: What do you wish for?

Timber: World peace.

Miss Sim Goddess: You know that’s futile, right?

Timber: Why?

Miss Sim Goddess: There’s no such thing as world peace.  Someone’s gonna hate someone and kill them and cause a huge war.

Timber: Maybe in your world they do.  We have a great Mayor here!

Miss Sim Goddess: Who, Ivy Copur-Winters? Nice Mayor you have, who wants to see someone dead.

Timber: Huh?

Miss Sim Goddess: You’ll understand when you’re older.

Timber: Speaking of…

(Timber does that little spin thing and becomes a Teenager)

Miss Sim Goddess: Well, there.  You grew up well…and not too bad looking either.

Timber: Hey, it’s the Boulder genes.  You can’t escape it.

Miss Sim Goddess: You’re right.  There needs to be more redheads though.

Timber: What in the hell is up with your obsession with redheads? No wonder Uncle Ajjay’s hating you right now.

Miss Sim Goddess: Hey!  Ajjay does not…he’s your uncle?

Timber: …I thought you kept tabs on that.

Miss Sim Goddess: Oh yeah, Christian’s Ajjay’s younger brother.  *smacks forehead* D’oh!

Timber: You’re funny.  Everyone else finds you excessively annoying, but you really aren’t that bad.

Miss Sim Goddess: Thank you, Timber.  I’ve been trying to explain to everyone that I’m not annoying!

Timber: Although, I will admit.  The torture you put Lombardo through—that’s fucked up.

Miss Sim Goddess: *nose twitches*

Timber: Come on, you turned him into a werewolf, almost made my dad piss his pants when he howled at the moon…even he said that it was evil.

Miss Sim Goddess: Yes, and I apologized to Lombardo for it.  Now I wish everyone in Boulder Valley will get off my invisible cock for that!

Timber: Speaking of cock, um…would you make mine a little bigger? I’d like a 7-incher.

Miss Sim Goddess: No, you didn’t go there.

Timber: Yes I did.  And what?

Miss Sim Goddess: How’s bout I stick you with a 4-inch cock?

Timber: Oh, fuck you.  So this is what they mean when they say you’re annoying!

Miss Sim Goddess: But they love me anyway.  Don’t you love me?

(Timber growls)

Lombardo’s spared again!

Miss Sim Goddess: There you go again, Lombardo!

(Lombardo falls out of his yoga pose)

Lombardo: Simbus Chripes, you bitch!

Miss Sim Goddess: Was I interrupting something, show-off?

Lombardo: Oh, just me keeping up my sexy physique.

Miss Sim Goddess: So…that genie lamp.  What’d you wish for? Less kids?

Lombardo: Actually, no.  I wished for beauty.  Can’t have a sexy physique when you’re not being seen.

Miss Sim Goddess: Wow, you’re a lot more arrogant than I thought.  All right, so I’ll admit that you are not a bad looking Sim at all.  You were very good-looking as a werewolf.

Lombardo: Don’t remind me!  Never, ever do that again! That was the worst experience I’ve had in my life.

Miss Sim Goddess: But you were adorable!  See?!

Lombardo: …I can’t believe you took pictures of me in that state.  But—aww, look at my son in the background!

Miss Sim Goddess: Oh, he’s a gem.  I’ll never figure out why his hair’s black seeing as his mom’s hair is red and yours brown.

Lombardo: Did you forget that Shaniah’s hair is naturally black?

Miss Sim Goddess: Oh yeah.  But that’s just one.  I mean, your sister’s one thing, but your son and daughter?

Lombardo: Are you saying that I was cheated on?

Miss Sim Goddess: Oh, trust me, you got yourself a good woman there.  I’m just puzzled.  Tilly’s father—I don’t remember what color hair he had.  It’d explain everything.

Lombardo: Um…gray?

Miss Sim Goddess: Lombardo, thanks for pointing out the obvious.

Lombardo: Oh, by the way, thank you for sparing me with the children thing.

Miss Sim Goddess: No problem.  But you probably won’t be as lucky again.  Barcelle’s gonna hate me though.

Lombardo: Speaking of, I think you need to speak to him.  You know, about his little…mistake with Venice.

Miss Sim Goddess: Don’t worry about it.  I think Peachnyree knows about that one.  And she doesn’t seem to give a damn.  As long as it doesn’t happen again, and she catches them in the act.

Lombardo: You’re a twisted bitch.  Knowing you, it will happen again.

Miss Sim Goddess: And you’re arrogant.  But I love you anyway.

Lombardo: Thank you. Up I go again!

(Lombardo continues with his yoga)